Wrong mentality

I started this blog to help motivate me... I haven't blogged about or really changed the weight loss tracker in a few days due to lack of positive results on the scale. Unfortunately, I've been seeing the opposite, a positive increase of numbers. I was hoping that would change before I updated the tracker.  I only wanted to show progress.  In reality, life is what it is and this blog is about my journey.  And right now, the journey is at best a plateau, but to be honest... I'm going the wrong direction.

Last night my friend Tom asked me what asymmetrical meant. I'm an intelligent guy and I know what it means however last night I drew a blank.  I just pawned it off as he caught me off guard and that he was asking me a 'trick' question. It was (sadly) a perfect reflection of the mental fog that I have been finding myself in. The last 50+ hours I just haven't had the desire to do much. Excuses were easy to come up with and not doing something was easier than doing it.

Why am I NOT losing weight? If only I knew the exact answer, the resolution would be known and I would be losing weight again.  I believe my weight gain is the result of a few things.

1. The other day I weighed a glass of water.
2. I got fixated on the numbers on the scale.
3. I was seeing so much success that I only expected more.
4. I got complacent.
5. Calories in vs calories out mentality took over. To few calories and to little water isn't a good thing.

I stepped on the scale this morning to see 214... Two Hundred Fourteen Pounds... I was there last week. I was also at 211.2.

When I first started this I was drinking 100+ ounces of water a day, usually around 16 ounces every hour to an hour and a half or so. Often, it was extremely easy to drink 120+ ounces in a single day.

That was then. This is now. I mentioned weighing a glass of water. Out of curiosity I wanted to see if indeed 16 ounces of water equaled a pound and of course it does. Then, mentally, I got fixated on not consuming a lot of water before, during or immediately after a workout as I didn't want to "gain" weight before stepping on the scale.  It sounds silly... as if I don't hydrate then my body won't function.  I needed (and need) to get beyond this. I need to remember that without water, nothing happens. It doesn't matter if you drink recovery drinks, juice, etc... the base for all of that is water.  Water is essential. And I need it in my system, regardless what it WEIGHS. Ounce for ounce, it is crucial that I get it.

I believe that my body is retaining more water than it was two weeks ago. And that it is due to the mental change that I went through. I'm glad to be addressing this issue now.  This blog is about the journey. And journeys have ups and downs. The hills weren't expected, but you know what? They happen. I need to accept that. Address that. And find a way to get on the other side as fast AND as healthily as I can.

The family and I went to Disneyland last night with some friends.  While there we ran into some other good friends and had a great time. After Disneyland I called it an early night and was in bed around 11 and woke up close to 7 a.m. Mentally, I felt great and that I got enough sleep. I came downstairs, and life hit me.

Morning BLAH!
I woke up thirsty. Very thirsty. First thought; "Can't drink. Drinking adds weight before I get on the scale." I went downstairs. I had to pick up a bunch of toys before I could do my workout.  I did that. Found the next Insanity DVD. Put that in. Then couldn't find the remote. 5 minutes later, found it. It was hiding in plain sight.

I hit play and the timer said 41 minutes.  Ugg... I didn't want 41 minutes of a workout. I just wanted water. I started the jog and felt like I was going to be fine. A minute into the workout and I wanted to hit STOP. I just left it playing and went and grabbed some water. Came back in and did another minute or two. But still was just going through the motions. After a few minutes I felt "I got this" and was encouraged.  Something is better than nothing mentality. So... I drug myself through it... for a while.  Then the Heismans started... and mentally I couldn't get my brain around which arm to put up when. It is a simple movement. I was done. I went through the motions. I tried to push myself and get myself back into it. Ten minutes later, I hit stop.

And now, I am writing this.

For me. Today will consist of getting the kitchen back together. Taking out the trash. Making sure that I CONSUME 120 ounces of water. Making sure that I DO juice at least three juices today. Making sure that I play with the kids, educate them and show them new things. I'm going to get back on the "fun" of this.  This mental fog wasn't there the first 35 days and it doesn't need to be there now. Nor ever again. Instead of trying to avoid it, I need to attack it head on and take care of this. I have almost always been an all or nothing person.  Instead of hiding behind the numbers on the scale and being "embarrassed" to show the results to the world, I need to remember I started this blog to help keep me in check. And that is what I'm doing.

My wife came downstairs as I was writing this and said; "Did you already do your workout?" I told her that I just didn't feel into it.  But I did do the first ten minutes of the Insanity dvd. I did it and am glad I did... at least I got my heart rate up for a while. My wife then gave me some words of encouragement.  She has done a marathon before.  She has worked out a lot in the past.  It was nice to hear her express her thoughts and her experiences.

Maybe when the kids go down for a nap this afternoon this "fog" will have lifted and I'll be motivated to "Bring it" as they say and do today's Insanity workout. For now. Breakfast needs to be made for the kids and I need to go drink more water. The little, small, silly things just got in the way. Mentally, I got this. I believe I do. I just need to implement it and not get hung up.

My Progress: 38 Pounds lost in 40 Days

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